I’m scared

I’m not sure what I’m doing. Or what’s next. Or what I should be doing.

I worry a lot about the future.

It’s causing a tight knot in my solar plexis

that weighs on my spine

causing my neck to collapse

I feel it in my eyetrows

it pierces my skull

and drags down my jaw

It’s there in my groin

swinging on my nerves

straight up my asshole

You see it’s a full body sensation

it’s exhausting and excruciation and ceaseless

well not ceaseless

there are moments that it ceases

glorious moments

full of wonder and ease

glamour and intrigue

a popping open sensation

…

I look forward to when that will happen again.